Depression is a medical condition that many people have to deal with.  This is a place to talk with others with this same condition.

Hi
Indeed it is good to talk to others when we have problems with depression.

Kelly

What happened to the "history" of replies in this topic?  Did the whole site get reset?

I've suffered from depression and PTSD for years now.  I've had great discussions about it in this topic, but it looks like they're all gone.

Hi Dahlia308
Always here to listen

Kelly

Yes, Dahlia, the site had a major malfunction, and everything was lost.  All fiscussions, registrations, etc. had to be started all over again.

Hi all,
I've been diagnosed with a major depression and PTSD stemming from my mom dying when I was three years old.  Now I have abandonment issues.  Whenever someone dies or moves away, I suffer terrible grief.  We've recently lost one of our beloved pets to kidney failure and next Saturday is the first anniversary of my brother's death.  My son is looking for a job away from here (will be interviewing for a job in Virginia in a few weeks).  All in all, I feel very empty and alone.

I live with a wonderful man who puts up with my depression but can't help me.  He's nine years older than I am and I know that, one day, he'll be "leaving" me, too.  Because of all of this I have no confidence in myself and don't know where to get it.

I volunteer for hospice and the American Red Cross, but volunteering is giving to other people, not other people giving to me.

Anyway, thanks for listening and responding, if you do.
Nancy

Nancy...have you tried support groups in your area or a counselor who can give to you? Do you see a doctor who can give suggestions for you?

Jane

Jane, I see a therapist once a week, but she doesn't do much for me.  Maybe I need to push to talk about the difficult subjects that bother me.  I'm also on two different antidepressants, which don't seem to do much good.  The feeling of aloneness isn't something you can medicate away.

I'm thinking about joining a local church to meet more people.  But I don't want to get into a position where the churchgoers will expect another volunteer.  That's how I've always gotten people to like me - by volunteering.

Nancy

Nancy - it's good that you speak openly about your depression, and that you're dealing with it.  The fact that you volunteer is a good thing, and also that the person you live with is supportive, and  genuinely cares about you. I hope today, Mother's Day, is a pleasant one for you, and that you will spend some time with your son.

Nancy...if the weekly therapist isn't helping you talk about the difficult things that bother you, I certainly think you should push.  You're there, after all, to get help, and if you're not, something needs to change.

Our daughter has PTDS  starting from physical abuse . Her husband tried to kill her & he would have succeeded but her neighbor heard her screams & came in the back door .  Then  her youngest son died 2-1/2 years ago & she had a nervous break down .  Her moods flip from okay to barely rational .  She has since remarried & her new husband is her rock !  When she is not rational I don't know how to answer her emails . I have told her this .  I'm going through a health issue now & I haven't told her for fear it will send her into another depression .

If I may jump in as I haven't posted in here for some years, and I vowed I would never post in here again but....I suffer clinical depression, ( past experiences ) anxiety, ( my present illness ) and now terrible stress which is starting to eat away with me......The stress in my life I cant get away from, shan't go into the details but....this is not helping, infact it is making my illness of Primary Progressive MS ( diagnosed last April ) a whole lot worse, something we should be avoiding for our own benefit...I can deal with my illness, that isn't going to go away, just get worse....but the stress is going to be the one thing, that if I don't get that under control, will be the final doing of me....it badly affects my MS....I know deep breathing and meditation both work, so I am going to have to rely on that, for the time being.....

alpiner: I feel so bad for your daughter. She has suffered through some terrible things in her lifetime, and I can see why she has PTSD.  It is so difficult for us to see our adult children suffer like that.  Our youngest daughter has led an unhappy and chaotic life, due to the poor choices she has made, and continues to make. My hope is to see her find some happiness and security, before I am gone.  Until then, it's a constant worry - always waiting for "the other shoe to drop". 

Vanilla-Jackie:  Auto-immune illnesses are stressful and unpredictable.  They take a major toll on your body, and on your relationships.  Our oldest daughter (not the onmentioned above). Has the illness called Graves Disease. It is a thyroid disorder.  It comes on slowly over the years, and does a cruel number on your personality and your looks.  When finally diagnosed, she weighed 95 pounds, and her eyes were protruding from the sockets, and her BP was up in the 200 range!   She has had good treatment the past few years, and has improved, but will never be the same as she was before.  Her marriage broke up when she was at her lowest point, and she now lives alone with her 24 year old autistic daughter.  Not a great life now, but she has a good attitude, and is grateful for all the happy years she had before Grave's changed everything.   

Marilyne, yes there is nothing worse than a disease that slowly eats away at your life, or what our life once existed of........I am not familiar with Graves disease, guess any more than I was with MS, until it became MY reality....Marylyne it cant be easy for you as a mother watching your daughters personality changing, nor her appearance changing...nor easy on daughter caring for her autistic daughter. Yes attitude certainly plays a good part, as I have found on my MS forum but, even those many members have their downer days, where they cant take any more, yes MS is very very unpredictable...

When I told my 46 year old daughter of my Illness, she left a very nasty recorded telephone message calling me a selfish c***t because I have, or will be passing my illness onto her, my 27 year old grandson and now my great grandchild who was born last Nov, yet no one has had the decency to tell me even what sex the baby is....I have purposely moved far away, just to get on with the rest of my life....

Nancy, yes a church to join seems a very good Idea, you should not put yourself under pressure to volunteer for something you don't want to volunteer for....try to stay in control...

A lot of our friends have not found the regenerated S&F and many have turned to facebook and the other social-media junk.

My doctor asked why all of a sudden I showed signs of depression.

At my age (95) with multiple vision, hearing and dental problems I feel I have a right for a little depression, particularly when doctors say come back next year. Then there is the problem of  wiping my own butt AND along comes Donald Trump to ruin my election  year.

I put that in to make some of you feel better about your problems.

Then the kicker, I just received word that my employer is kicking old  retirees off their health plan.    Illinois has not funded our pension plan and now they are not funding education.

I feel great when I can interact with nice people.

I always wished and prayed to get away from my previous address and location as I wasn't happy there, so God gave me Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, that got me away....lesson learnt....so " be careful what you wish for...."

My depression stems from the days I used to walk three dogs from my old address, not any more...what I would give to have that old life back...my normal walking and my dogs....

Ray.  Some of us have wondered  where you where.  Glad to see you post today.  You are right. it is all Facebook. Texting now.  Even the EMailing have mostly gone. All do quick one liners on their Phones.
You have handled you health problems over the years with very little complaining. I suppose they are right.  Cost to live a long life.  Just hope you are not to uncomfortable in your. Try to find one of the other forums in here with some cheer.  We are all tired of all the mess with the Politics these days.  You are right. Here in Illinois things are a mess. Dont need the Presidential  one adding to it.

I have been depressed for a long time.    The depression got worse after my youngest child died. He had multiple health problems. He added to his problems by smoking. Because he was classified as disabled, his life was hard. He lived with us and helped out by paying rent. Before his first stroke he did most of the cooking and cleaning which he loved doing. He liked to be useful. After the second stroke he got very depressed.   

For my depression and anxiety I am on meds. I hate that I have to take as many pills as I do have to take. But, they do help me. 

GinnyAnn, I hope that you can overcome your depression.  I usually have an episode or two in the winter months when the sun is scarce and we have lots of rain.  One of the reasons I walk outside daily and work in my yard when able is that I have learned that bright sunny days helps me avoid depression--or at least the sunny days cheer me up.  I think you have a nice patio/porch on your house.  If it gets some sun during the day, maybe you could go out there and read or just enjoy the sunshine.  It might help.

I was so sorry when you lost your son although I know he'd been very sick.  I think losing a child whether an infant or a grown young man like your Doug must be very difficult.  Big hugs to you and Ray. 

Sue (from Bosom Buddies)

Ginny Ann, I take meds for depression and anxiety.  I don't know what I'd do without them.  It's getting to the time when my seasonal affective disorder will start kicking up.  I hate cold, dark days of winter.    We have a light box which we use in the morning, but it's not enough.  Only the sun will do.

I also have PTSD from losing my mom at the age of three.  I have fear and abandonment issues also.  No pills for that.  Only therapy, which works only fairly well.  I guess once our personalities are formed, there's nothing that can change them.  I just have to understand why I react the way I do.

Hugs,
Nancy

Dahlia, I'm sorry about your depression, too.  I know how tough it can be in the winter when SAD kicks in.  Are you able to walk outside?  I find that very helpful especially in the darker days of winter.  I am a widow/retired school teacher, so I'm able to walk daily unless we are having a thunder storm.  This helps me a lot.

Sue

Sue, my neighbor and I walk in our neighborhood three times a week, weather permitting.  As it gets colder, we just bundle up more.  We'll stop walking outdoors when the weather is really cold and windy or when there's ice on the streets.  Then we'll go to the local senior center and walk indoors.  But that's not the same.  No sun.

The walking does help a lot.  When I don't get outside, I can really feel it.  Today I didn't walk, but I got outside to feed my birds and squirrels.  That little bit helped.  But not for long.

Nancy

I also take meds for my anxiety and depression: Lyrica (sp) Started it for the anxiety and then doc added it for the depression. Lately I have been in a down cycle    Need to get myself out more. The holidays are hard. With Ray being an only child and me just 1 brother not many places to go to celebrate. We used to go to my brother's place, but with my sister in laws family there, it turns out not enough room for Ray and me.   

I am also on many other meds 

We may go to a service group's Thanksgiving. This is a rough time for me and Ray.

Sue you are right, I do need to get outside and walk more.

Dahlia, I'm glad you are finding some opportunities to walk outside with your friend.   !  That is my best practice to avoid a set back with dark skies and gloomy weather. 

GinnyAnn, you don't even have to walk very far to get a lift from the sunshine.  I hope you'll have plenty of it before winter sets in.  I hope you and Ray do decide to go to the service group's Thanksgiving celebration.  Big Hugs to both of you.

Sue

Ginny Ann, I find most holidays stressful.  My partner has three sons, two of whom live out west and one who lives an hour away but is involved in his family and grandchildren.  We never get an invitation to their house for any holiday.

My son and DIL are raising four children and that's a handful.  They never have picnics, only birthday parties for the kids.  I fould out last weekend that they're not having Thanksgiving at their house this year - they're going to my DIL's brother's home.  So Gene and I will be having Thanksgiving dinner in a local restaurant.  I was actually relieved to hear that because Gene hates going out anywhere and it's a big deal to get him to go out for Thanksgiving.

As for Christmas, it's easy.  I'm Jewish and my son, DIL and grandchildren celebrate one night of Chanukah with me.  Then they celebrate Christmas on their own.

Sue, I also bought myself a light box a few years ago.  I turn it on in the morning when I'm working at my computer.  It helps a bit.  I should use it more often.

Fondly,
Nancy

Nancy, I'm glad the light box helps a bit.  My grandmother used to tell us "Every little bit helps".  Of course she was talking about our chores, but I've found that it does help to have friends and family who do a "little bit" to cheer us up.

Sue

I'm finally seeing someone about my depression on losing Doug.  Depression is hard to realize you are suffering from it. It comes on at a time when you are down and then keeps you down. She, my doc, helped me with my meds, then sent me to a talk doc. They can't write prescriptions. I like my talk doc. Even when Doug was alive, I have a hard time around the holidays.

GinnyAnn, this is great news.  I am so glad you have found someone to talk to about your depression.  And thank goodness  for you regular doctor who helped with the meds and referred you to a talk doc.  I know having someone who treats depression will be a big help to you.  The treatment may be slow, but it does help.  When I was depressed when Bob was away on an aircraft carrier 2 years, the pediatrician at Balboa Naval Hospital arranged for me to talk to a psychiatrist weekly--and it really helped me.  I was able to tell him things I couldn't talk about with my neighbors.

Big Hugs to you this morning,
Sue

Good morning, Nancy.  I hope you're having a sunny day today--to me that really helps.  It sounds as if your Thanksgiving plans for a dinner out with Gene will be a really good solution for the two of you.  I'm having dinner with my son, his wife and her parents who live near by.  My job is to bring a salad--and they've requested the pineapple jello I made last year with crushed pineapple and cream cheese.  I think we'll be having ham which my son will cook--but I'll get to take some left overs home and that makes me happy, too!

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Chanukah, too!
Sue

Sue, Thanksgiving was okay.  The restaurant we picked didn't have great food, but it was turkey, etc.  I had worked at a blood drive the day before Thanksgiving and the staff was giving pies to all donors.  When it was over, there were pies left, so I was given one.  It was the highlight of our Thanksgiving celebration!

I looked at the December calendar and Chanukah begins on Christmas eve this year.  Not sure what we'll do.  Maybe celebrate both together.

Ginny, I go to a social worker weekly and we talk about everything.  I keep thinking I should be cured by now (I've been seeing her for years) but I guess the stuff that makes me anxious and depressed isn't going to go away (PTSD).  It's mostly what happened in my childhood and my personality was formed by it.  No changing that now.  Just have to learn to deal with it.

I'm going to a psychiatrist Friday who sent a swab of my mouth to a lab for testing.  She said the test will tell if the medicine I take for depression is working for me or if I need a different med.  I hope the results point to a drug that will really help me, not just keep me slightly less depressed.  I've developed tremors in my hands and my social worker looked up the drugs I was taking and found that tremors were side effects.  More reason to switch.

Have a good day!
Nancy